You Suck
at Drinking

And it is high time you improved yourself!

Buy this book so that you may have it with you AT ALL TIMES

For it is

A complete guide to drinking for any and all occasions

including, but not limited to

Office Holiday Parties, Weddings, Breakups (and other sad times), Outdoor Chores like Deck-Building, and while in public, both Legally and Illegally

The problem—one of them, at least—is that most of us were never taught how to drink, not really, not unless you count watching uncles gulp dirty martinis or high school football players shotgun beers. That education will only get you so far.

It’s time to imbibe correctly, and fortunately for us all, author Matthew Latkiewicz has compiled this helpful, wryly humorous guide to help you navigate any drinking situation and answer any burning and crucial questions, including:

The author promises that most if not all drinking topics are covered and has the vast experience to prove it.

Surely, this book will be helpful to you

so by all means

Purchase it

And then pour yourself a drink!

Matthew Latkiewicz has written about drinking for over 10 years. He has instructed readers in the pages of many publications including Details Magazine, McSweeney’s, Grub Street, and Refinery29. His humor work has appeared in Wired, Boing Boing, and Time’s Techland.

Your excitement is not misplaced

Matthew Latkiewicz’s essential YOU SUCK AT DRINKING is at once tipsy-funny and drily sage: a wonderful wise-guide—if you will*—to the ethics and etiquttte of artful drunkardry.

*Please don’t. I hate puns. I must have been drunk when I wrote this blurb. TIME TO RE-READ THE BOOK.

John Hodgman

Daily Show Correspondant

I’ve been drinking for twenty years now, but I’ve never really known what I was doing. What’s in a bloody Mary? I don’t know. Is white wine the same thing as red wine? Beats me. Fortunately, Matthew Latkiewicz has written an accessible, responsible guide to the dark art of getting alcohol into your body. Thanks to him I can look forward to many happy years of boozing ahead of me.

The success of Latkiewicz’s satire lies in the disarming accuracy of his hilarious portrayal of American drinking customs; he plays with our repressed anxiety about alcohol like a cat torments it’s prey. Perhaps the only thing we suck at more than drinking, as the title of his handbook suggests, is opening up provocative dialogue about a host of situations in life where sobriety is less than ideal. Thankfully, we have Matthew to get the conversation started.

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